


The Changing You

by timerise



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, B) boom one real tag, Fluff, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Oh, fluff??, idk this shouldnt count as anything except self indulgent borderline poetry, ive been told hinata is very in character so thats good at least, man idk, nonlinear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25825036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timerise/pseuds/timerise
Summary: Memory isn’t a consistent line. We view our lives in moments, flashes. We see the people we care about through the times we share with them.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what this is. Enjoy

It was always a competition. Never in their lives, their flight together, had it been anything else. They fought tooth and nail with each other (realizing much later,  _ for _ each other.) Tobio Kageyama, the Lonely King. His mind never stopped searching for the fastest, strongest, stealthiest, most efficient move in any scenario. No matter how hard he tried, his first answer was always Hinata. His Shoyo Hinata, the speed demon. He started out as the jeweled sword of said Lonely King, but grew with His Majesty to rule beside him. He spread his wings and flew towards the open sky, hands like arrows and eyes like daggers.

The two had complete trust in each other, despite being at each other’s throats. Kageyama might be the one to shove Hinata, but it would surely be Kageyama in turn to catch Hinata before he hit the ground. The two pushed and pulled each other towards their full capacity, then worked together to expand the extent of their abilities. A more symbiotic relationship had never existed. They were strong individuals, with notable weaknesses. Together, they formed more than a whole. They were two, they were one.

Kageyama only wished he had realized it sooner.


	2. Come Soft Rains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We forget things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so weird why am i formatting it like this

Early December was bitterly cold. It nipped at his ears and his cheeks, making Kageyama wish for some sort of tunnel from his house to the gym. He bundled himself tight, a scarf, a hat, gloves, and more. He felt like a lumbering polar bear, but dismissed the image in favor of his pride.

The gym was in sight then, warm lights from inside and the telltale sound of the smack of a volleyball against the floor. That warmed Kageyama more than his coat.

Beside him suddenly appeared his carrot-top spiker, grinning like Christmas morning. “Good morning Kageyama!” Hinata chirped. Snowflakes dusted his hair- he had donned only a jacket and his uniform. He had always been something of a sun-child himself, maybe a personality that bright didn’t feel cold the same way Kageyama did.

“Hinata,” Kageyama greeted grimly.

“You’ll never believe what happened,” Hinata began, uninvited. “I saw a little blue bird this morning! Only, it wasn’t little. It had a long tail, a long beak, and blueish eyes! It reminded me of you, Kageyama.” Hinata shot his 100-watt smile at Kageyama once more, brilliant and blinding.

That warmed Kageyama more than the sight of the gym.

What was he supposed to say?  _ You are the only person in the world that would think of me at the image of something soft.  _ He would never say that.  _ Why do you tell me these things? Do you treat everybody this way?  _ That sounded desperate, and deeper than Kageyama dared to venture.  _ You remind me of the sun. You’re my light, I need you to guide me, warm me, grow me. I’m afraid, if I get too close, I’ll get burned.  _ “We’re the crows, idiot, not the bluebirds,” Kageyama said instead.

Hinata stuck out his tongue. “I didn’t mean during volleyball, birdbrain.”

The magic was gone. Kageyama nearly sighed in relief. This was comfortable territory- he knew how to handle wanting to shove Hinata’s face into a brick wall. These new feelings though, he didn’t know how to handle them. They had shown up unannounced, bubbling up from his heart as if they had been there all along. Maybe they had.

The first time they had surfaced was after practice in October. Kageyama had an exam for a class, so he had neglected to stay a bit after like normal in favor of going straight home to attempt to study. He had complained about the test to Hinata during their breaks, finding the ginger boy a strangely avid listener. It was raining that night, and Kageyama was thankful for the bus. A half-hour after he had gotten home, he had just finished dinner and was about to begin studying when he heard a knock at his door. His father answered it, only to meet a sheet of pouring rain just off their porch, and a drenched Hinata. He was standing there with his bike, his backpack, as well as Kageyama’s bag, which Kageyama had left at the gym in his hurry to get home.

_ Kageyama came to stand in front of his father. “Hinata,” He greeted. _

_ Hinata panted, looking up at him. “I remember… You said… Your exam… To study…” He jutted out the arm with Kageyama’s bag. “I think it’s dry.” _

_ Kageyama was speechless. Hinata biked the whole way in the rain, just to return his bag? _

_ Kageyama’s mother ushered Hinata inside, shooting her son a glare when he was too dumbfounded to thank his friend. He silently retrieved a towel and a spare change of clothes for Hinata. His brain had sharply halted, stopped before the dangerous street of his Shoyo. _

_ Hinata declined the clothes with a light blush, stating that they would only get wet on the ride home. He also declined any offer of Kageyama’s parents to drive him back, as neither of them had a bike rack. He simply dried off; made sure his own books weren’t wet, and headed for the door. _

_ “Shoyo,” Kageyama finally managed to murmur. _

_ Hinata turned to him, his hand on the knob. “Yes Tobio?” He asked softly. _

_ Kageyama blushed, looking at his feet. Stupid ginger, stupid eyes, stupid desire to help anyone and everyone at any and all costs. “Thank you.” _

_ He looked up to find Hinata’s smile, soft and warm and Kageyama wanted him to stay. “My pleasure.” _

_ Then he was gone. _

Kageyama was yanked from the memory at a light tug on his arm. Hinata was standing there looking at him, doe eyes and gentle hands bearing into his being.

“Kageyama, we’re at the gym,” Hinata supplied.

Kageyama yanked his arm away. “I knew that,” he huffed.

Hinata only grinned. “Last one to warm up has to do a flying lap!”

It was always a competition with Kageyama and his Hinata.


	3. Just What You Have Done

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do our words stick with the people who hear them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one hurt me a lil ngl

Hinata screamed in frustration, hands coming up to tear at his hair. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!” He shouted.

It was just the two of them in the gym, like so many times before. Bump, set, spike, trying as many different combinations as possible to shake blockers and liberoes. This time they were attempting to develop a second tempo juke out, to open up the right side of the court. It wasn’t going well.

Kageyama was frozen however, staring intensely at the little spiker. He had been about to walk over there and pull Hinata’s hair, to yell at him to get out of his funk and move faster, when Hinata had done it himself.

Hinata’s hands were still attached to his scalp, yanking at his hair to try to ground himself. “Why can’t I just get this right?”

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened. Multiple times during practice games, Kageyama would be storming over to Hinata to find him yanking on his own shirt, banging his forehead against a wall, slapping himself on the cheek. Now this, yanking his own hair.

Every time it happened, a wave of guilt crashed through Kageyama. Was this how he had conditioned Hinata to receive feedback? Sugawara was a nurturing setter, delivering every criticism with a compliment as well. Kageyama was Hinata’s partner, how could they have healthy communication if violence and screaming was ingrained into Hinata’s impulses?

Kageyama walked over to Hinata, lifting his hands up. His throat tightened when Hinata flinched at the gesture. He wrapped his long fingers around Hinata’s wrists, pulling his hands away from his head.

“Stop it,” he ordered simply.

“You don’t get it,” Hinata spat. He struggled a bit in Kageyama’s grasp, grunting as the taller boy’s grip only tightened. “I’m just too slow, you’re working so hard to put it in the right place, I can’t even get back across the court in time- I’m letting everybody down!”

Kageyama tugged Hinata closer by his wrists. “Idiot, you’re not listening. This is not going to happen overnight. No one expects that of you. It’s already better- we’re so much closer than we have been before. Give yourself credit. Breathe.”

Hinata stared up at Kageyama, chest heaving. All at once, his body caved in. His knees knocked together, his shoulders slumped, his forehead connected with Kageyama’s chest. Kageyama still held onto Hinata’s wrists, fully aware that he was the only thing keeping Hinata grounded.

They stood like that for a while, breathing and thinking about the combo. Hinata eventually took a deep breath and stood back up, facing Kageyama. He let Hinata’s wrists fall.

“Toss me one more,” Hinata asked. It wasn’t a request, they both knew it would happen whether Kageyama liked it or not.

They took their positions, steeled with a mixture of determination and desire. They ran it. Perfectly. The ball connected with a water bottle on the right edge.

Kageyama and Hinata screamed with excitement, overjoyed at the flawless execution. Hinata ran over to Kageyama. Without thinking, he reached a hand into Hinata’s hair and ruffled it playfully, a blend between messing it up and petting his head. Hinata leaned into the touch, beaming.

They separated, grinning their cheeks off. It was a race, then, putting the gear away and heading out. Always a competition.


	4. Your Heat Lingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do they remember of what is given, what is received?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last part i actually have finished. if yall want me to continue lmk otherwise im gonna write more bokuaka

Trudging to school in the cold was miserable. The snow clung to one’s shoes and slowly drenched their socks and the cuffs of their pants. The cold wind invaded every coat and jacket, seating itself between one’s ribs and suffocating them.

Maybe Kageyama was being overdramatic. However, he had just managed to rip the fabric of his gloves, so he felt justified in his misery. He was busy rubbing his hands together and blowing air into them when the telltale sound of a songbird voice rang out behind him.

“Kageyama!” Hinata greeted him warmly. “Oh, are you cold?”

“Obviously,” Kageyama snapped. “Why would I do this for fun?”

Hinata blushed in embarrassment. “Sorry, whatever. Um, wait!” His eyes widened with an idea. Kageyama couldn’t suppress a groan- Hinata’s ideas almost always ended with disaster.

Hinata surprised him then, by removing his own gloves. “Here! I see yours are ripped- mine are warm! You can use them, they’re stretchy so your hands should fit fine.” He stood next to Kageyama, holding the gloves out expectantly.

Kageyama silently removed his own and put on Hinata’s. He was right, the pair was warm and stretchy. Kageyama blushed, biting the inside of his cheek. “Won’t- won’t you be cold?”

“Nope!” Hinata shook his head. “I move around enough to stay warm!”

Kageyama stared at him. What an idiot. It was too much, his unkempt hair and his hopeful eyes and his forgiving smile and the snow and the sun. “Thank you,” he muttered.

“Don’t mention it!” Hinata sprinted off to find his school friends.

Kageyama hung back and watched him. He reminded himself harshly in his head:  _ Hinata would do that for anyone. His kindness doesn’t make you special. You’re not special to him, he doesn’t see you as anything more than his teammate. _

The thought made him want to vomit. It wasn’t fair. How could Hinata occupy so much of Kageyama’s mind so often, when he was just a momentary blip for Hinata? How could the little spiker be the image of Kageyama’s desire, his goal, his muse, his adversary, his twin flame, when he meant so little to the boy in return?

He watched with barely disguised disgust as Hinata embraced one of his friends. He couldn’t count how many times he had wanted to tug Hinata to his chest, to rest his chin on the smaller boy’s shoulder and breathe him in.

What separated him from the rest? What gave them the right?

Kageyama knew the answer. In Hinata’s own words, he would be the one to defeat Kageyama. At the end of the day, they were enemies. They would work together for now, but someday they would go head to head in a real setting.

Hinata wouldn’t falter. He was ruthless as he was kind- he would sweep the rug out from under Kageyama and beat him with it as soon as he got the chance.

It was all Kageyama could do to keep his distance, physically and emotionally. He was terrified of that day- when Hinata defeated him. Try as he might to bargain with fate, he knew it was going to happen. The Tiny Giant would stare down at his broken form on the ground, and smile that starlight smile. Would he extend his hand then, to help Kageyama stand? Or would he leave the setter fractured on the ground, nursing his wounds and averting his eyes?

From across the way, Hinata laughed at something someone said. His head fell back and his eyes squeezed shut, letting the joy flow from him like music.

Kageyama sighed, adjusting his gloves. He was going to be burnt, one way or another. The best thing he could do was hold his head high while he could still claim pride. The proud and lonely King, raising himself above the commoners. Doing anything he could to win the game. 


End file.
